Saturday, May 23, 2015

A year ago today...

So, part of the reason the blog has fallen behind is because preparation for the wedding took over and work on the house slowed to a stop. One of the other reasons is not quite so happy. Shortly after the wedding, we found out that my father had been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. He was given 6 months to live. This came as such a shock to us all. I always thought my dad would live forever. I still wish I'd had even those 6 months. As it turned out, we had just under 3 months. On this day, one year ago, we said good bye to my father. To be my biggest fan. To the man that raised me very nearly by himself. To the man that always put everyone else first.

I can't believe it's been a year. It seems impossible that it's been that long since I've talked to him. I still don't think I can even write the post that I've thought about writing for so long. It's too hard. I'll miss him every day of the rest of my life. I'm so glad that he was there to walk me down the aisle, and that we didn't know he was sick that day. It was truly a happy day, not clouded by anything.

Whenever I accomplish anything I'm proud of, it was always him that I wanted to call first. I always strive to make him proud. I'm sad that he'll never see out house once it's finished being renovated. He's the reason I love making things. He made a lot of the furniture we had in the house growing up. Luckily, I now have a good amount of it. I'm sitting at the desk he made me for grad school now. I have a lot of the tools that he's collected over the years. I hope to put them to use one day soon. I'm so glad that he was able to meet the wonderful man that I married. And that he was able to meet the wonderful dogs we have. I absolutely hate that he'll never meet his future grandchild. I feel like I let him down by not beginning my licensing exams yet. I'll never be able to tell him that I passed and became a licensed architect. Maybe it's part of the reason I'm still dragging my feet on starting that...

I'm forever grateful for all the time I was able to spend with him in his last few months, though it was not nearly enough. I'm glad for all the stories he told me while he was stuck in the hospital bed. I'm thankful for all the nurses and doctors that were there along the way. And I'm so glad that I was able to get to the hospice facility in time to spend one last day with him.

Ok, I don't think I can write anymore, so I'm just going to post some pictures of my dad from over the years.

Before my wedding ceremony. October 13, 2013

 October 1982


The bassinet that my dad designed and created for me that I now have.
Our Sheltie Tyler watching over it.

My dad and brother at Speed Skating Nationals. 1998?

My graduation from Georgia Tech in 2005.

My dad and his cat Nipper, 1970 or so

goofing off in the early 80s
Sitting at the table I'm hoping to restore

early 90s

I love this.  re: the closing on our new house

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